Bye Bye 377

The moment Supreme Court of India delivered its judgement declaring Right to Privacy as a fundamental right, saying that “Privacy assures dignity to the individual and its only when the individual enjoys life with dignity that liberty can be of true substance” and explicitly mentioned that privacy included ‘sexual orientation’, everyone knew its only a matter of time before Section 377 of Indian Penal Code is repealed. Today, the clock stopped ticking, and history is made by making Section 377 a part of history. However, I thought that the Supreme Court might not have any more thought-provoking content in its judgement about decriminalizing homosexuality, considering that a lot has already been said about privacy and dignity. But this judgement which also quoted the lyrics of Canadian songwriter Leonard Cohen proves that I cannot be more wrong about it.

Anyone who has been following this issue would remember that the beginning of this journey was in 2009 when Delhi High Court decriminalized homosexuality which took a U-turn after Supreme Court left it in the ambit of the legislature in 2013. In other words, they said “The society is not ready for this yet,” and we said, “Challenge accepted.” (Please feel free to replace ‘we’ with ‘they’ wherever applicable/not applicable. After all, liberty is for everyone.)

We started public debates explaining, discussing and sensitizing the topic of homosexuality and the rights of LGBTQ community. We sat through ridiculous explanations of a natural phenomenon as a disease and even more absurd claims of cure in Yoga. I should say we went really far when we touched the sculptures and paintings of temples. I still don’t understand how we even dared to ask questions and show proofs. Nevertheless, we came a long way from protesting movies like ‘Fire’ and portraying homosexuality as a taboo or comedy in movies like ‘Dostana’ to depicting sensitively in movies like ‘Margarita with a straw,’ thanks to simultaneous progress worldwide. 

When the Supreme Court accorded transgender community the right to be called third gender and the right against discrimination, it was more than a clear signal that the society is now almost ready, or at least the judges thought so. Finally, today, when the judgement of CJI Dipak Misra and Justice Khanwilkar read “I am what I am,” I wonder if there can be any more powerful statement in any other judgement on individual’s liberty. They are absolutely right to say “We can’t call ourselves developed society unless we are freed from the shackles of stereotyping.” But what left me between smiling and laughing is Justice Chandrachud’s statement “Can the state be allowed to decide?”

Keep the conversation interesting!

                      My very first speech in Toastmasters was titled "Like a flowing river" after Paulo Coelho's collection of short stories as well as a comparison of how my life kept changing its course over years. Life in fact, is everchanging; or else, why would it be called life? As the title of one of my old posts goes, life is simple; accept the change. 

                     In the past 6 years, my life kept changing but it was more like a loop. The phases of writing UPSC prelims, then mains and make a short trip to the US when possible and write prelims again....  went on and on and the cycle continued. Finally, I have exhausted all my attempts as well as age limit this year and this cycle would end very soon and life will change all over again.

                     Now when I think of starting a new phase of life afresh, I don't regret even a single decision I made throughout this cycle. But there is one particular change in me which impacted one of the core defining features of what I am. I stopped being in touch with many of my old friends and did not make many new friends either. I travel for around 16-17 hours on a flight but hardly speak a word with co-passenger. I choose side lower berth in 2 tier AC trains, close the curtain and travel 12-24 hrs in silence. I look at the posts of some old friends on FB and WhatsApp but don't ping them.

                     This change is not just a consequence of busy lives or lack of interest in people. It is a conscious choice I made when I found it difficult, or rather boring to answer follow up questions after "how are you?" (in case of old friends) or "hello" (in case of strangers). Old friends ask about my exam, when and why I would be returning to India, my plan about having kids (strangely, people of my generation are still interested in asking this question) and now my answers also became part of my life cycle because of repeating the same answers all these years. New ones ask me what I do, why I would be returning to India (not when, because they don't care obviously) and if my husband is supportive and I end up explaining them the entire exam cycle. Sometimes I doubt if these questions are also a part of my exam syllabus since I go through them repetitively. 

                     After all the questions, another thing that my old friends repeated was their reassurance and faith that I will be successful one day in my endeavors and the new ones wish me luck. Thanks to all those kind words and they played a great role in keeping my morale up in all my attempts at this exam. By the end of this year, I hope I will have new answers to those questions and I badly wish the questions change as well. I promise that I will soon get in touch with all my old buddies and if you are one and reading this, please promise me you will keep the conversation interesting ;) 

My theory of evolution of a philosophy

             “You may remember the story of how the devil and a friend of his were walking down the street, when they saw ahead of them a man stoop down and pick up something from the ground, look at it, and put it away in his pocket. The friend said to the devil, “What did that man pick up?” “He picked up a piece of Truth,” said the devil. “That is a very bad business for you, then,” said his friend. “Oh, not at all,” the devil replied, “I am going to let him organize it." - Jiddu Krishnamurti      

              We evolve by questioning. We should ask questions whenever we want to question and about whatever we want to question. We should search for the answers. When we find our answers we build our own philosophy.

               It might so happen that for the same set of questions a group of people might get the same set of answers. So they all form a group questioning more and finding more answers which may continue to be same or different. When the answers turn out to be different a debate takes place. Every person with his/her own answer tries to convince the other person that his/her answer makes more sense. Please note that I am not saying that the person would say his/her answer is correct because there are no rights and wrongs when you talk about philosophy but just different perspectives. At the end of the debate a single answer or multiple answers might be accepted or they might agree to disagree on that particular answer.

              The questioning continues and when a situation comes where the answers turn out to be very much divergent there forms another sub group. Now this sub group evolves into many more sub groups eventually. This evolution happens only as long as questioning continues and those who agree to disagree coexist accepting the right to believe in one’s own answer. When this acceptance ends and one group starts believing that the other perspective does not have the right to exist and the right to be believed,  this group tries to convince the other group about the same but both stick to their perspectives. In the urge to stick to their own perspectives they stop questioning anymore. That’s when the progressive evolution stops.

               These perspectives which stop progressing are documented and are given a name “unquestionable beliefs” and are passed on to next generations. These next generations are conditioned to accept the perspective of those around them without questions. After a certain period of time, a strong desire to stick to the conditioned perspective arises and questioning becomes forbidden. This desire to keep their perspective unchanged for eternity becomes so strong that it gives way to put an end to any possible questions in the future. There might be many ways to stop these questions – fear of punishment might be induced, documented texts might be modified. This is where regressive evolution starts. 

               This might go on till the end of civilization or let me put it this way, this might end the civilization unless progressive evolution starts somewhere at sometime. The cycle of progressive and regressive evolution would go on. When a situation comes when those who want to start a progressive evolution cannot do so not due to losing the power of questioning but due to lack of strength to counter the regressive evolution, the civilization deserves to end.

Its my love story

I have been in love with him for a long time now. All these years, he was always there for me. Since the day I realized I was in love with him, everyday of mine started with wishing him. I feel so good when he wakes me up and I love it more when I wake him up. He feels so protective about me. There are many rumors about his behavior and habits but I never believed them. I trust him more than anybody else. We never expected anything from each other. It was just a perfect relationship. But one day, in this perfect love story, a trouble arose.
There was a misunderstanding between us. I asked him to do something which I have never asked him to do earlier - to change his behaviour. I blamed him for the trouble that I was facing. But he remained stubborn. He wanted me to accept him the way he is. I too stopped wishing him in the morning and stopped meeting him. I was so scared that it might be the end of our relationship.  I talked to a common friend of us and asked her to help me. She is closer friend of him than me. Of course, I never had any issues with it. She tried talking to him but in vain. She suggested me that I should change the way I was looking at things. I gave it a thought and introspected myself. She was damn right! I realised the problem was not with him but with me.... with the way I was looking at everything. Very quickly, I jumped to set things right and met him the very next morning, wished him and said "I love you..... I love you so much...... and I will love you for the rest of my life!"
He smiled and I said I was glad that he was not angry with me. His smile means a lot to me. He said "Honey, I was always smiling but you dint even look at me to understand that. I love you too".

If you are wondering who my boyfriend is.... he is quite famous for helping the mankind. He is popularly known as  The SUN. Yes, I have been in love with him for almost ten years. I wake up early, sometimes even before sunrise, and wait to see how handsome he is! The rumours were what scientists were talking about solar flare hitting the earth but I never believed that he could cause harm to us. I never complained about the heat in the summer because I have always accepted the fact that thats how he is. But this summer, I had headache continuously for a few days and I thought it was because I was coming home daily in the afternoon when the temperature was high. I started waking up late (because my class timings got changed) and used stole, sunscreen and umbrella while walking in the daylight. The common friend of us is The VENUS. (Venus is closer to Sun than the earth) Every evening, I spend a few minutes looking at Venus and share my joy and sorrow with her. One evening, while I was on the terrace talking to Venus, I thought of visiting an eye doctor. I came to know that the cylindrical power had increased and that was the reason for the headache but not the Sun. I felt bad that I blamed Sun for my headache. The next morning, I woke up early, looked at the rising Sun and said "I love you..... I love you so much...... and I will love you for the rest of my life!"

I will not find fault with you if you think that I am crazy. In fact, I am happy to accept this craziness imparted to me because.....
"When a person really desires something, all the universe conspires to help that person to realize his dream" says The Alchemist
"Your thoughts enter the cosmos when you sleep and get the energy added from the universe and reenter your body when you wake up" says Dr. Abdul Kalam in one of his books

"Kehte hain agar kisi cheez ko agar dil se chaho to saari kayanath tumhe usse milane ki koshish me lag jaati hai.." says SRK in Om Shanti Om

and if all this is true, Sun (most important source of cosmic energy for us) being my boyfriend and Venus being my close friend would bring to me whatever I want in my life not just because I want it but because they love me!
Above that, this craziness helped me enjoy some of the most beautiful moments on this earth (dawn, dusk, shining stars, planets etc) with lot of emotions added. Its because of this craziness that I never complain about any season because I love Sun the way he is, far from the earth or near.

I love him.... I love him so much..... and I will love him for the rest of my life..... not because he gives me whatever I want but because he is what he is!
  

What happens when you have a goal?

Over a period of time, I got habituated to a way of life of doing whatever I want to do as soon as I want to do – be it stupid or sensible, useless or useful. But now, I see a great deal of change in myself. Now I try to answer every wish of mine saying “not now! It’s the time for a VIP”. This VIP who brought this change or rather forced this change is my GOAL. I have observed a few shifts in usual life that this goal brings along. Let me share them with you.

Your dearest friend SLEEP keeps inviting you to the world’s best comfort home, but the goal says “I need some more time with you”. In order to satisfy your goal, you would turn down the offer of your friend. But you know how this particular friend is. It does not leave you till you honour its wish and the war between goal and sleep goes on.

Your eyes tend to look at a handsome guy or a beautiful girl (depending on your choice) and they start forcing you to stare at him/her and send signals to brain to think about him/her which in turn asks the tongue to flirt. Before you can do anything, your goal says “Look at me idiot! I can’t stand being ignored and I can’t share my stage with anyone else”. Then you shut your eyes, disconnecting all the signals, only to open them in front of your goal alone! You don’t have a choice here, you see!

Your favourite actor has performed the best in a movie and it is released during this period. Above that, your long time crush has invited you for this movie, a long drive before that and dinner after that. That’s the time when you are so high but exactly that’s also the time when the goals pulls you down and says “You dirty pig! How dare you think I would allow you to forget me for so long? I know you would keep repeating this if I allow you once! Just shut up and work for me now!”

Sometimes your food habits change. Then your mom says “My child! Eat well! Sleep well! Take care of your health”. Now the goal says “Fat ass! Ask your mom to stop pampering! You have eaten enough junk to survive for a week without any food!”

You play “why this kolaveri di” on your music player and while you are lost listening to the line “my future darku” for the 2^nd time, the goal says “enough of flop songs” and the track changes to “Lakshy ko har haal mein paana hai”

Sometimes you go through a really bad phase where you lose something / some people and you would want to cry till your tears dry up. But even before a single drop of tear comes out, the goal shouts at you “Stop it! You will cry only when you lose me forever! Nothing else should bother you more!”

In spite of all these sacrifices, your friends, well wishers and guides scold you saying “This is not enough!” While you keep wondering about what else you should do, your goal smiles sarcastically and says “Of course! You need to travel a lot more to reach me”

At a point in this journey, you ask your goal “I am working harder and harder everyday. But will I ever be able to reach you?”

Then your goal smiles and says “Dear! I am waiting here with a hope that you would reach me. I know the path is not so easy. All that you need is FOCUS. When you reach me, I promise I will give you a lot of happiness which you might have never felt in your life. I will give you a very peaceful and happy sleep. I will make your mom kiss on your forehead and say “I am proud of you!” I will fund your parties with friends those who scolded you. I will add meaning to your life. I will make your life a success story which would be read by everyone travelling this path. Can you work even harder?”

My reply would be “My dear goal! I am coming!”

It is good to be stupid !

30th September 2011 has become one more memorable day in my life not because of any achievement but because of my stupidity. One more superb experience is added to my list of  mini adventures.
To start with, I boarded a train at Secunderabad the previous night which is supposed to reach Vijayawada at 5:00 AM. I set an alarm at 4:45 AM to ensure that I will not miss getting down before the train leaves the station and I slept. Suddenly I woke up and heard an announcement "Machilipatnam Express ek number platform se rawana hone ki tayar hain". I immediately grabbed my luggage and hand bag. I searched for my chappals but could not find them. In a haste, I asked someone standing at the door if it is Vijayawada and he said "yes" and I got down. I took out my phone to call my sister to ask her to pick me up from the station. Then I noticed that it was 3:30 AM and as I walked down, I realised that it was Khammam but not Vijayawada. By the time I understood what has happened, the train picked up pace which did not allow me to board the running train. (By the way, do you know that boarding or getting down a running train is dangerous?) I asked people standing at the door to pull the chain but nobody understood what I was saying. The train left.
I was lost at an unknown place ! I was bare-footed. I called my mother and told her my situation. She said "Don't panic. Be calm. Find out about next train or bus and come down. Nothing to worry! ". A guy was looking at me from the moment I got down. I just thought he was like any other guy and started searching for enquiret counter. He came to me and asked "what happened?" I told him the short story. While talking to him, my mind was talking to me "Come on! You have been working for the past three years and you are not a kid and this is not the first time you are travelling in a train. You could have checked the time, cross cheked with one more person, looked at the less crowded station or the station name properly." This guy said "It has been destined that you should get down at Khammam. Let us enquire about the next train" and took me to the enquiry counter. The next train was scheduled at 4:12 AM and he ensured that I had enough money with me and left. Nice guy ! I sat at a place and my mind started talking to me again "Its OK. Sometimes it happens". I remembered a statement told by myself over a conversation with my friend Gopi "It is good to be stupid sometimes". True ! In fact, it is fun to be stupid sometimes.I started laughing at myself. I called him and we shared a good laughter. I later called my sister and she explained me the situation at home. My father was scolding me and my mother and grand mother were supporting me. My sister started scolding me for my insanity and I was laughing!
The train came at 4:45 AM and then my alarm rang ! I smiled at the alarm and boarded the train. It reached Vijayawada by 6:45 AM and my sister came to pick me up and brought a pair of sandals too. Don't ask me what happened at my home after that.
I somehow have many interesting experiences with trains and railway stations like missing the last direct train in the night and waiting in the station in the late night, booking the ticket for wrong date and realizing it after boarding the train( will share them in another blog) and this one has become another one. Many authors and philosophers compare train journeys with life. To me, a travel in a train is special. When I meet some interesting people in the station or train, it is more special. When I encounter such experiences, it is even more special and all the more fun. I really feel special in such situations because I have spices added to my traveling experience unlike others who just travel. Similarly, life is good if it goes on smoothly. It is better when you meet people who later on become important role players in your life. It would be the best when it goes beyond the routine, when you see life in a different angle and end up learning more about life.
Life has always been the best to me. Sometimes, it is good to be stupid. I believe that the best way to learn is "Be stupid, Make mistakes, Experience and Learn!"

A night at the beach - alone !

It has been my dream since a long time to spend a night at the beach all alone ! But I never had a chance... reasons being many. But on 14th August 2011, after returning from a trip to Araku and Borra waterfalls with friends, I went to beach with them at 11:30 in the night. This wish of being alone on a seashore has been inspired by many writings of people who found solace in the seashore. I too wanted to experience that wonderful feeling of being close to the sea and to gift some peace to my too disturbed mind. I asked my friends to leave me alone. Though they have let me sit alone they were still around guarding me yet keeping my privacy. However, I was still not alone because there were other people around me who were having fun at the beach. I walked into the beach and stood in the waters for sometime. But I still could not be alone due to the loud voices of people around and due to my scattered thoughts. I came back and sat down. At a distance, a few crabs started moving in and out of their holes. I started observing them. In fact, I was a little scared when a saw a big crab coming out.   I thought of changing my place and stood up. When I started walking, I had observed that the crabs went inside as soon as they sensed movement. Then I realised that the movement of crabs, noises of people and my own thoughts were all distractions that deviated me from enjoying my time alone at the sea. I went back into the water, told myself that I would not get distracted by anyone or anything around. Then my focus went beyond the waves which touched my feet to the high tides behind them. At times, my focus was disturbed when I mistook my own shadow to be someone else's and when I looked back, there was no one except my friends who were protecting me from a distance. Then I looked back into the sea, and after a while, I felt as if I was floating in the middle of the sea and I could only see a few lights on the other side of the shore. I loved that feeling and continuously gazed at the lights on the other side and I was on my way virtually reaching them. Suddenly, when I looked back, I saw no one around me including my friends (they went for a walk). I was finally alone at the beach !!!! I continued to enjoy my virtual ride in the sea till my friends called me to come back as it was time to go back.
On that day I realised that if I have to enjoy my success in doing what I want to do, I should
1. avoid distractions by focusing on what I want and where I want to go.
2. avoid fear of anything by trusting those who are with me all the time.
3. get ready to take risk by trusting God who would never leave me in my journey.

I told the sea "My dear sea ! I will come back for more lessons ! "

Thanks to my friends (Raj, Omi, Sridhar, Avanthi and Vaishnavi) who helped me fulfill my dream !!!