What happens when you have a goal?

Over a period of time, I got habituated to a way of life of doing whatever I want to do as soon as I want to do – be it stupid or sensible, useless or useful. But now, I see a great deal of change in myself. Now I try to answer every wish of mine saying “not now! It’s the time for a VIP”. This VIP who brought this change or rather forced this change is my GOAL. I have observed a few shifts in usual life that this goal brings along. Let me share them with you.

Your dearest friend SLEEP keeps inviting you to the world’s best comfort home, but the goal says “I need some more time with you”. In order to satisfy your goal, you would turn down the offer of your friend. But you know how this particular friend is. It does not leave you till you honour its wish and the war between goal and sleep goes on.

Your eyes tend to look at a handsome guy or a beautiful girl (depending on your choice) and they start forcing you to stare at him/her and send signals to brain to think about him/her which in turn asks the tongue to flirt. Before you can do anything, your goal says “Look at me idiot! I can’t stand being ignored and I can’t share my stage with anyone else”. Then you shut your eyes, disconnecting all the signals, only to open them in front of your goal alone! You don’t have a choice here, you see!

Your favourite actor has performed the best in a movie and it is released during this period. Above that, your long time crush has invited you for this movie, a long drive before that and dinner after that. That’s the time when you are so high but exactly that’s also the time when the goals pulls you down and says “You dirty pig! How dare you think I would allow you to forget me for so long? I know you would keep repeating this if I allow you once! Just shut up and work for me now!”

Sometimes your food habits change. Then your mom says “My child! Eat well! Sleep well! Take care of your health”. Now the goal says “Fat ass! Ask your mom to stop pampering! You have eaten enough junk to survive for a week without any food!”

You play “why this kolaveri di” on your music player and while you are lost listening to the line “my future darku” for the 2^nd time, the goal says “enough of flop songs” and the track changes to “Lakshy ko har haal mein paana hai”

Sometimes you go through a really bad phase where you lose something / some people and you would want to cry till your tears dry up. But even before a single drop of tear comes out, the goal shouts at you “Stop it! You will cry only when you lose me forever! Nothing else should bother you more!”

In spite of all these sacrifices, your friends, well wishers and guides scold you saying “This is not enough!” While you keep wondering about what else you should do, your goal smiles sarcastically and says “Of course! You need to travel a lot more to reach me”

At a point in this journey, you ask your goal “I am working harder and harder everyday. But will I ever be able to reach you?”

Then your goal smiles and says “Dear! I am waiting here with a hope that you would reach me. I know the path is not so easy. All that you need is FOCUS. When you reach me, I promise I will give you a lot of happiness which you might have never felt in your life. I will give you a very peaceful and happy sleep. I will make your mom kiss on your forehead and say “I am proud of you!” I will fund your parties with friends those who scolded you. I will add meaning to your life. I will make your life a success story which would be read by everyone travelling this path. Can you work even harder?”

My reply would be “My dear goal! I am coming!”

It is good to be stupid !

30th September 2011 has become one more memorable day in my life not because of any achievement but because of my stupidity. One more superb experience is added to my list of  mini adventures.
To start with, I boarded a train at Secunderabad the previous night which is supposed to reach Vijayawada at 5:00 AM. I set an alarm at 4:45 AM to ensure that I will not miss getting down before the train leaves the station and I slept. Suddenly I woke up and heard an announcement "Machilipatnam Express ek number platform se rawana hone ki tayar hain". I immediately grabbed my luggage and hand bag. I searched for my chappals but could not find them. In a haste, I asked someone standing at the door if it is Vijayawada and he said "yes" and I got down. I took out my phone to call my sister to ask her to pick me up from the station. Then I noticed that it was 3:30 AM and as I walked down, I realised that it was Khammam but not Vijayawada. By the time I understood what has happened, the train picked up pace which did not allow me to board the running train. (By the way, do you know that boarding or getting down a running train is dangerous?) I asked people standing at the door to pull the chain but nobody understood what I was saying. The train left.
I was lost at an unknown place ! I was bare-footed. I called my mother and told her my situation. She said "Don't panic. Be calm. Find out about next train or bus and come down. Nothing to worry! ". A guy was looking at me from the moment I got down. I just thought he was like any other guy and started searching for enquiret counter. He came to me and asked "what happened?" I told him the short story. While talking to him, my mind was talking to me "Come on! You have been working for the past three years and you are not a kid and this is not the first time you are travelling in a train. You could have checked the time, cross cheked with one more person, looked at the less crowded station or the station name properly." This guy said "It has been destined that you should get down at Khammam. Let us enquire about the next train" and took me to the enquiry counter. The next train was scheduled at 4:12 AM and he ensured that I had enough money with me and left. Nice guy ! I sat at a place and my mind started talking to me again "Its OK. Sometimes it happens". I remembered a statement told by myself over a conversation with my friend Gopi "It is good to be stupid sometimes". True ! In fact, it is fun to be stupid sometimes.I started laughing at myself. I called him and we shared a good laughter. I later called my sister and she explained me the situation at home. My father was scolding me and my mother and grand mother were supporting me. My sister started scolding me for my insanity and I was laughing!
The train came at 4:45 AM and then my alarm rang ! I smiled at the alarm and boarded the train. It reached Vijayawada by 6:45 AM and my sister came to pick me up and brought a pair of sandals too. Don't ask me what happened at my home after that.
I somehow have many interesting experiences with trains and railway stations like missing the last direct train in the night and waiting in the station in the late night, booking the ticket for wrong date and realizing it after boarding the train( will share them in another blog) and this one has become another one. Many authors and philosophers compare train journeys with life. To me, a travel in a train is special. When I meet some interesting people in the station or train, it is more special. When I encounter such experiences, it is even more special and all the more fun. I really feel special in such situations because I have spices added to my traveling experience unlike others who just travel. Similarly, life is good if it goes on smoothly. It is better when you meet people who later on become important role players in your life. It would be the best when it goes beyond the routine, when you see life in a different angle and end up learning more about life.
Life has always been the best to me. Sometimes, it is good to be stupid. I believe that the best way to learn is "Be stupid, Make mistakes, Experience and Learn!"

A night at the beach - alone !

It has been my dream since a long time to spend a night at the beach all alone ! But I never had a chance... reasons being many. But on 14th August 2011, after returning from a trip to Araku and Borra waterfalls with friends, I went to beach with them at 11:30 in the night. This wish of being alone on a seashore has been inspired by many writings of people who found solace in the seashore. I too wanted to experience that wonderful feeling of being close to the sea and to gift some peace to my too disturbed mind. I asked my friends to leave me alone. Though they have let me sit alone they were still around guarding me yet keeping my privacy. However, I was still not alone because there were other people around me who were having fun at the beach. I walked into the beach and stood in the waters for sometime. But I still could not be alone due to the loud voices of people around and due to my scattered thoughts. I came back and sat down. At a distance, a few crabs started moving in and out of their holes. I started observing them. In fact, I was a little scared when a saw a big crab coming out.   I thought of changing my place and stood up. When I started walking, I had observed that the crabs went inside as soon as they sensed movement. Then I realised that the movement of crabs, noises of people and my own thoughts were all distractions that deviated me from enjoying my time alone at the sea. I went back into the water, told myself that I would not get distracted by anyone or anything around. Then my focus went beyond the waves which touched my feet to the high tides behind them. At times, my focus was disturbed when I mistook my own shadow to be someone else's and when I looked back, there was no one except my friends who were protecting me from a distance. Then I looked back into the sea, and after a while, I felt as if I was floating in the middle of the sea and I could only see a few lights on the other side of the shore. I loved that feeling and continuously gazed at the lights on the other side and I was on my way virtually reaching them. Suddenly, when I looked back, I saw no one around me including my friends (they went for a walk). I was finally alone at the beach !!!! I continued to enjoy my virtual ride in the sea till my friends called me to come back as it was time to go back.
On that day I realised that if I have to enjoy my success in doing what I want to do, I should
1. avoid distractions by focusing on what I want and where I want to go.
2. avoid fear of anything by trusting those who are with me all the time.
3. get ready to take risk by trusting God who would never leave me in my journey.

I told the sea "My dear sea ! I will come back for more lessons ! "

Thanks to my friends (Raj, Omi, Sridhar, Avanthi and Vaishnavi) who helped me fulfill my dream !!!

A magical trip

It was an unfulfilled dream of my entire family for a long time to go to Tirupati together. We are emotionally attached to this place since it is the birthplace of my mother, me and my sister and where my grand parents had spent most of their married life and hence the importance of this dream.More than anyone, my sister badly wanted to visit her birthplace since she has not been there even once after her birth.

For a long time, we have been blindly believing that we were the descendants of those who had the curse that they could not visit the temple with the family.  One day, my mother has got a chance to perform in the temple of Thiruchanoor and my sister wanted to tag along and booked her tickets. Just one day before the travel, my sister met with an accident and could not travel. But she did not let this incident or the belief affect her desire in any way but made it stronger in stead. The next time we planned once again and were hoping and praying that nothing should come between now. Though there were some small cliches we finally made it to Tirupati, thanks to the continuous visualization of my sister. It was a four day trip from Feb 19th to 22nd (in fact 5 days.. i could not make it to Sripuram and Arunachalam on 18th). Thanks to my uncle who looked after our accomodation and transport during the entire trip because of which everything went on smoothly. The last two days were alloted only to visit places in Tirupati where my mother lived, studied, played,visited and enjoyed. We covered all the places except a temple of Lord Hanuma which my mother used to visit frequently. On the last day, when we were about to go back to our guest house to pack and leave, we passed by the music college, where my mother studied and where my grand father Late Dr. V L Janakiram worked as a professor. We decided to stop and visit the college. The first big hall inside the college had a big picture of my grand father. My mother met the senior staff  and the principal of the college who know her and introduced me and my sister to them.Most of them knew me also because I was the favourite of my grand father. The principal told us that "Akhandam" (A music festival that goes on continuously for 24 hours) was going on in that Hanuman temple. Coincidentally, Akhandam was started in Tirupati by my grand father in that temple many years back and later the music college was made the venue. This time, it was again being conducted at the same place. My instinct said I had to go to that temple right away in spite of my father's warnings about getting late for the train. The priest in the temple recognised my mother and remebered that my grand father taught me music. He immediately arranged the stage for me to sing. For me it was a divine opportunity..... I had a chance to sing on the same stage set by my grandfather in the favourite temple of my mother. I rendered a favourite krithi of my grand father "Bantu Reethi Koluvu" and I could still not believe what was happening there. To add to my excitement, my uncle V L Kumar, a renowned Violin artist had come to the same festival and neither of us knew of each other's presence in Tirupati and he played Violin for my next Krithi. My joy knew no bounds (as well as my entire family's).All our eyes were filled with tears of joy. I could not call it a concidence any more when I saw that they were distributing booklets of notations of Pancharatna krithis, the copies of manuscripts written by my grand father. I can never forget the words of people "We felt as if your grand father was performing on the stage. His soul would have been very happy today".

That was a magical trip and all that started when we stopped believing that God has a problem with allowing a family to a temple if their ancestors could not make it. Some day in the future,I hope I would be connecting the dots using this blog.

Life is simple; Accept the Change

I heard this statement for the first time in a speech contest. I gave it a thought that evening and it is then that this story of a wonderful lady struck my mind. Let me share this story with you.
She was born in the templetown of Tirupati and was brought up with equal shares of pampering and dicipline. Being born and brought up in a family which always upheld the notion of "Athithi Devo Bhava", she imbibed the greatest quality in the world - patience. She started observing people from various places and various kinds. As she grew up, she learnt more about people and their behaviour.
A few years later, she got married to a guy from a joint family. Soon after that she had to accompany him to a village where he was posted. She had to stay in a house (hut) which did not have a flooring and proper sanitation. She did not complain. She accepted the change with a smile. She gained respect among all her new family members for her attitude.
With the support of her entire family, she did her M.A in music and secured a gold medal for standing first in the university. She started her career as a lecturer in the same university. Soon, she was asked to join her husband leaving her job. She agreed and eventually that marked a full stop to her career. She accepted the change again with a smile.
She did extremely well as a home maker and became the centre of the family and favourite of everybody around. She supported her husband and family during financial instabilities with a smile on her face and when the situations changed and their status became better, she accepted it with the same smile.
When her daughters entered teenage she became their best friend. She accepted all the changes in their thought processes with a smile. As they grew up, when they took their decisions, some of them against her wish, she again accepted them with a smile.
All through her life she never uttered the words "I am afraid", "I am worried" and "I can't".
When I ask this beautiful woman to teach the secret of her happiness, she says "Life is simple. Accept Change" with a smile.
It gives me an immense pleasure and a great sense of proud to tell you that I am the daughter of this great woman.
I love you Mom !